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I mean this sincerely:

Today's emerging adults deserve a pass.

Think about what they've navigated. Screens in every pocket and on every wall — not because they're lazy, but because that's the world we handed them. Stranger danger messaging since birth. Then COVID, which quietly erased two to four years of the exact developmental window when young people normally learn how to be in the world — lunches with classmates, awkward school dances, crammed hallways, part-time jobs, the thousand small moments when you figure out how to read a room.

These aren't character flaws. They're circumstances. I want to be clear about that.

And yet. Something real has been lost — and employers are noticing.

And here's why it matters more now than it did even ten years ago:

AI is changing technical work fast. The barrier to producing competent output is falling. When tools can draft, design, analyze, and code at professional levels, technical skill alone becomes less scarce.

The edge shifts.

The most consistent feedback I've seen from recruiters and hiring managers across industries isn't about a lack of technical skills. It's about this:

"They couldn't hold a conversation."

A brilliant candidate on paper who spent the entire interview looking at their shoes. A promising applicant who, when asked "tell me about yourself," pulled out their phone to read from notes. A finalist who never asked a single question about the company. An offer extended by phone message and responded to by text.

These aren't disqualifying offenses, exactly. But they are missed opportunities. And they're happening constantly.

The good news? These are learnable skills. They always have been. And they happen to be some of the most durable skills any emerging adult can develop — because they travel. They work in every career, every industry, every decade.

And in a world where entry-level roles are compressing and competition is intensifying, small human advantages compound quickly. When hiring managers have dozens of technically qualified applicants, they choose the one who feels ready, present, and trustworthy.

Technical competence gets you considered. Human fluency gets you chosen.

This isn't just anecdotal. The numbers are consistent — and striking.

According to LinkedIn's Global Talent Trends Report, a survey of over 5,000 hiring managers and talent professionals found that 92% say soft skills matter as much or more than technical skills when evaluating candidates.

Same survey: 89% of recruiters say that when a hire doesn't work out, it usually comes down to a lack of soft skills — not technical ones.

Let that land for a moment. Most failed hires aren't a skills mismatch. They're a human mismatch.

And Deloitte projects that soft-skill-intensive jobs will grow at 2.5 times the rate of other jobs through 2030, eventually accounting for two-thirds of all positions in the workforce.

The trend line is unmistakable.

I've coined a term for the human advantages in work: anthrosive.

These are skills that resist automation on two axes at once — they're hard for machines to replicate, and humans actively prefer receiving them from other humans. A warm handshake. A genuine conversation. A thoughtful follow-up. These aren't just nice-to-haves. They're deeply, stubbornly human.

And here's what I've said for years because it matters everywhere:

Literally and figuratively. People with great manners and great social skills love demonstrating these practices. Not because they're trying to extract something from being extraordinarily civil. But because the world responds to it.

Conversations extend. Opportunities surface. Referrals happen. People hire people they like — and that's not cynical, it's human nature.

Over a 35-year career, I've had dozens of young people come to me for mentoring and career advice. Every single one who practiced these principles saw real results. Not because they gamed the system — but because they became genuinely enjoyable people to be around and to work with.

These skills are learnable, and they are critical. One of my heroes, author Tom Peters, said it best: "The soft skills are the hard skills."

Here's where to start:

1. The handshake In traditional American business settings, a confident handshake still matters. Always standing. Firm grip. Eye contact. Genuine smile. A pause that says: I'm here, and I see you. Two seconds that telegraph confidence, readiness, and respect. Teach it. Practice it at home. In face-to-face environments, it still carries weight.

(I was delivering a class to 40 new career joiners at a well-known financial firm a few years ago. I asked: "Raise your hand if anyone ever taught you how to shake hands." Two people in the entire audience raised their hands. Two. This is an overlooked skill worth teaching.)

2. The intelligent question Nothing signals genuine engagement like a well-placed question. Try: "Your work sounds genuinely complex — how did you get into it, and what did mastering it look like?" That single question has opened more doors for young people I've mentored than almost any credential. It gets the other person talking, which most people love.

3. The prepared presence Before any meeting, interview, or networking event: look up the person, the company, the industry, recent news. Use AI tools for recon. Then drop one specific, relevant observation early — "I read that your team just expanded into renewable energy — that must be an exciting shift." You go from anonymous to memorable in thirty seconds.

4. The gracious follow-up A handwritten thank-you note is so rare now it's practically a superpower. An email works fine too — if it's warm, specific, and arrives within 24 hours. "Thank you for your time. What you shared about X has genuinely stayed with me." Done. Remembered. And it absolutely stands out.

This one doesn't get enough attention — so I'm giving it its own moment.

Everyone loves to hear their own name. When you use someone's name naturally in conversation — not awkwardly, not excessively, just genuinely — it signals competence, warmth, and real engagement. Over my career, I've received more compliments for this single skill than almost anything else I've done professionally. Hundreds of them. Across industries, cultures, and continents.

That's not bragging — that's proof of concept. And I'm sharing it because I want the same for your kid.

The problem most young people have isn't that they don't care. It's that they hear a name and it's gone in three seconds.

The fix is surprisingly simple: the moment you're introduced, repeat the name in your head immediately — rapidly, several times in a row — until it locks in. Sarah. Sarah. Sarah. Done. Now use it.

And you can do this even when meeting multiple people at once. Sarah, Dan, Gina, Nancy, Jim, Gary. Watch how impressive it is.

One more rule worth teaching: with anyone older, always lead with a more formal name — "Mr. Kruse," "Ms. Johnson" — until they invite you to use their first name. It's a graceful gesture that signals old-world class and genuine respect. In a world where that's increasingly rare, it gets noticed every time.

Here's a practical exercise — frame it as a challenge, not a lecture:

Invite them to engage in a fun little role play. Ask them: "If I introduced you to my most impressive colleague tomorrow and gave you five minutes — how would that look and sound?"

Then play along. Resist fixing. Hear where the gaps are, and have a real conversation about it.

Look for this: Did they stand up straight? Did they offer a handshake? Did they make eye contact? How was that handshake?

Most emerging adults, when they understand why these skills matter — not from obligation, but from genuine opportunity — become surprisingly open to learning them.

🎆 Kids want the tools and encouragement to enter the grown-up world.

And here's the irony of the AI era:

The more technical the world becomes, the more human the edge becomes.

🤝 Thanks for following along. Consider this a virtual, solid, look-you-in-the-eye handshake — with gratitude,

Barry

P.S. — One of the joys of a career spent in rooms with thousands of people? I've watched soft skills quietly outperform credentials more times than I can count. Got a story like that from your own career? Hit reply. I'd genuinely love to hear it. Message me any time at [email protected]

WorkLifeFuture | Practical guidance for parents supporting emerging adults' careers in the age of AI & automation. Subscribe